I'm (we're) married!!! (Part 1)

"Got hitched", "Tied the ol' knot", "Said the I do's", "Attached a ball and ch...........", uh, I won't go there. But yes, I achieved all of these statements (minus the last one) in one simple weekend. Although simple is hardly the word.
Niesha and I flew down to Florida 5 days before the wedding as we still had a number of loose ends to tie up before the big day. We had decided to stay with my family in a timeshare in Kissimmee (just south of Orlando) for the first two nights. Sounds straight forward but one detail is missing to the equation. There were 16 of us staying in two timeshare units (with more arriving throughout the week). There were hida-beds (spelling?) to support most of the bodies that wouldn't fit into beds but I mean who really gets any decent sleep on a hida-bed?! I tried the first night and had that great metal-bar-in-back feeling for a good part of the day. The next night my Aunt and Uncle from Edmonton blew up an air mattress for me. That, I can usually handle quite easily so I was happy.....until. At 2:34 am I woke up and my left hip was sore. I tried to move and thought the air mattress was definitely unhappy with me because it felt rock hard. Like tile floor hard. Like I was sleeping on a cold hard tile floor. Like my air mattress had COMPLETELY deflated and I was sleeping on a slab of cold hardness. Not wanting to wake everyone with the electric pump required to pump up the mattress I crawled onto the couch.
After a couple seconds on the couch I realized I was directly in the path of the air conditioning fan. And here's where I must ask the question "Why is every indoor room in Florida kept cold enough for a penguin to be comfortable?" So I was cold since cool air was pouring over my face. I decided to switch switch ends of the couch and put my head where my feet had been. The air was still rushing over my face. Out of desperation I moved to the small "L" shape of the couch that wasn't even long enough for me to stretch out. Finally no wind. But I was still cold.
I got up and tried to turn up the heat on the thermostat. Of course the button wouldn't work. I pressed harder. Still nothing. I pressed repeatedly. Nothing again. I pressed harder and repeatedly.........the numbers moved up a little. Hooray! I moved back to the my little "L" section on couch, and curling up into a tiny ball I fell asleep.
When I awoke in the morning I was not only uncomfortable from being cramped I realized I was sweating profusely. I guess I had turned up the heat a little too much. Ooops.

A couple days later Niesha and I went up to Northern Orlando where she could stay with an Uncle and I could stay with my cousin. Again my sleeping equipment was a hida-bed. This one however wasn't bad but my bestman Vince was flying in at 6:05 am so I didn't even get to spend much time in it anyway.
After the trip to the airport and a nap back at my cousins my Baba and Aunt made us a wonderful lunch that was music to our nostrils as we woke up. The rest of that Friday was spent with my cousin Mike, Vince and I golfing. Vince had never played before so Mike and I shot our opposite way and still managed to beat Vince, although not by much. It was blast and the highlight of the afternoon occurred when Vince unknowningly stood in an ant hill preparing to take and shot and then jumping around trying to brush the ants off as they swarmed up his leg.

Friday evening we checked into a hotel. As we got settled we wanted to watch the movies I had taken of our golfing adventure that afternoon. After struggling to connect the video camera to the hotel tv we called the front desk and were informed that something had to be done to the tv by a maintenance worker so they would send one up. Enter Borat the maintenance man. Upon arriving we quickly realized this "maintenance man" was not that skilled in the English language. In fact he didn't speak any real English words in the 15 minutes he visited us. He simply grunted and pressed buttons on the tv remote in the way we had already done a few minutes earlier. After a few attempts he got into the "Parental control" section of the tv and we had to repeatedly tell him that's not what he had to be dealing with. We finally convinced him that it was okay if he couldn't figure it out.